The Penske File and Gym Etiquette

There is an iconic Seinfeld episode where George Costanza’s job interviews keep getting interrupted right before the hiring manager is set to deliver some critical piece of information.

For example, at the start of the show, an executive says to George, “I want you to have this job. Of course … ” Then a secretary bursts into the office to tell her boss he has an urgent call on line 2. George is ushered out.

Later, Jerry and Elaine speculate with George as to what the rest of the executive’s sentence might have been. Elaine suggests, “I want you to have this job. Of course … the board of directors is under indictment and will be serving time.”

I was reminded of these hanging sentences yesterday at the gym. The front desk attendant fired up the PA system for a surprise broadcast just a few minutes after opening the gym at 5 am. The annoucement came also right in the middle of my tough set of pull-ups. I’d note that gyms should never be interrupting members over the loudspeakers unless the place is on fire — it’s a significant breach of etiquette. It’s like making noise on the golf course in the middle of someone’s backswing. Quiet please.

In any event, I tried to pay attention to the gym’s breaking news, but I couldn’t make out what was being said. For starters, I was concentrating primarily on my lift. Also, the PA system cut out with squawking and feedback just as the gym staffer was delivering his critical piece of information: “I know it’s early,” he said, “but … ”  And then only interference and noise.

What could the big news be?

• “I know it’s early, but … the bomb squad is here and we need to evacuate immediately.”
• “I know it’s early, but … we’ve already run out of clean towels and the washer has broken.”
• “I know it’s early, but … the legal department just sent an email saying we are ceasing operations promptly at 6 am.”

I looked around after finishing my pull-ups and no other members seemed alarmed. I continued on with my routine.

When my workout took me past the front desk, I stopped to ask the guy what was going on. He repeated his announcement for me, minus the microphone: “I know it’s early,” he said, “but … please remember to re-rack your weights after use.”