Top 10 Reasons To Switch Gyms

The most important factor in deciding which gym to join is – let’s face it – proximity. I have heard of guys that drive 20 or 30 miles to their gym of choice, something out of the question for those of us planning to keep our day jobs. Still, there are definitely occasions when it makes sense to drive just a little farther.

Top 10 Reasons To Switch Gyms

10. Inappropriate use of the sauna and steam facilities. Or some variation. I don’t want to talk about it.

9. Three of the four 80 lb dumbbells are missing. Then one day, all the 80 lb dumbbells are missing.

8. The general manager is arrested for stealing people’s identities off their membership contracts.

7. A sign reading “service required” now hangs from all three StairMasters.

6. Too many members arrive in packs of four. This is the Dreaded Foursome: loud and menacing, they take over large sections of the gym and excel at getting in the way.

5. New TVs are installed and hung from the ceiling. (What’s wrong with that you ask? How about when they’re hung so low that you smash them with your barbell during overhead presses.)

4. The gym decides to rearrange the equipment. This never ends well. Benches will now wobble on uneven sections of floor, lines of sight to the mirror are impaired, and somehow my favorite old-school machine always disappears. (This activity is also known as rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.)

3. You get busted for letting your roommate “borrow” your membership card.

2. The manager reprimands you for deadlifting too loudly.

1. Your kid urinates all over the floor of the day care center.

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Two other opportune times to switch gyms, though I haven’t experienced them personally, would be when you get tossed out of the gym for grunting too loudly, and when you accidentally launch a 200 lb barbell through the gym window.