The early bird gym experience

I work out when my gym opens at 5 a.m. While the early start frees up the rest of my day, it also puts my exercise plans at risk. The threat used to be the oversleeping employee with the key. Now, there’s more.   

Inside my gym, the club recently started locking the aerobics room when there is no class in session. The aerobics room is also the location where the gym hangs its punching bags. As a result, on my heavy bag workout days, I am dependent upon on a single staff member to 1) unlock the gym front door, and 2) comply with my request to unlock the aerobics room door.

Why is the gym now locking the aerobics room? I once asked the guy at the front desk, but I got just a shrug. I have some theories:

• Management is tired of members trashing the aerobics room. Here’s a picture I took some months ago.
• Members take equipment out of the room, like steps, but fail to return the items. This carelessness creates a mess on the main gym floor while also leaving aerobics classes short some items.
• The gym wants to stop members from working with outside boxing coaches. This is a gray area. The gym doesn’t offer boxing instruction, so it’s not competition like with private personal trainers. In addition, both coach and student need to be members to enter the gym; it’s unfair to limit what members can do.

In any event, after a rough start a few weeks ago when the front desk guy couldn’t find the aerobics room key, I’ve been having consistent success getting past the second locked door.

Today, however, us regulars found a new guy opening the gym. I faced a potential problem of both communication and comprehension — this is Miami after all. For example, the woman ahead of me, a native English speaker, fumbled around with her barcode and asked the new guy: “Puedo tener una toalla?” (Can I have a towel?) When it was my turn, I risked it all and said in the only language I speak, “I’d like a towel too please, and can you also open the aerobics room for me?” The front desk attendant replied without hesitation, “Sure, do you want a large or small one, and please give me a minute on the aerobics room.”

Communication problem averted! But comprehension, not so much.

For close to 10 minutes, I waited by the aerobics room door. Then I returned to the front desk and asked the guy for help again. He blew me off and told me to wait longer.   

While I lingered a second time by the aerobics room door, I thought about the last time I was blocked from accessing the punching bags: when the gym was shut during COVID hysteria. My solution at the time was ingenious. I’d wake up and head outside my condo to bang my boxing gloves against a palm tree. During one of my workouts, a car pulled up and a woman clearly drunk and possibly high got out of the passenger side. She staggered over to me in the dark and asked why I was so angry.

Today as I waited, I contemplated exiting the gym and returning to the tree.

One last time, I went to check on the guy at the front desk. He asked me what I wanted to use the aerobics room for. I stated my simple desire to punch a bag. “Oh,” he said, “you mean the aerobics room? I thought you wanted me to open one of the custodial closets normally off limits to members. I’ll unlock the aerobics room for you right away.”