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No Class

I admit there’s one part of the gym experience with which I have no experience: aerobics classes. I’ve always figured that my own training is far more intense than whatever workout the instructor regresses to the mean. I’d also rather control my own pace and intervals of rest. Regardless, I do spend a great deal…

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Coming Soon

Many years ago, before cable television, I remember seeing an amazing contraption at the house of a family friend. The dad had connected his television to his exercise bike so that the bike powered the TV. He could watch television only while converting calories into literal energy. The timing of his workouts determined what was…

Cool Running

As the weather turns colder and I take my running inside, I recognize the subtle change in my training. Outside, I expend energy pushing against air resistance; inside, I face the relentless climb up a treadmill’s incline. But regardless of whether a run is more challenging on pavement or a belt, there’s no question about…

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Jitters

Since no one has risen in defense of the sport of swimming, I guess I’ll just do it myself: Dear Muscleman, Though you claim to have spent years as a competitive swimmer, you seem to have missed the most rewarding aspect of the sport – the competition against yourself. As you know, the most important…

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Washed Away

Every morning, my gym rubs my nose in it. On my way to the locker room, the gym’s layout forces me to walk past the swimming pool – a reminder not only of wasted gym fees, but also of my deeper philosophical objections to the whole activity. Let me be blunt: Stripping down to your…