Top 10 Things Not To Do At A Gym Water Fountain

My sister thinks that the commotion surrounding a gym water fountain is just knee-slapping hilarious, and that this blog would be incomplete without a more thorough analysis. Ok, Elana, here you go:

Top 10 Things Not To Do At A Gym Water Fountain

10. Take a big gulp of water, turn around, and cough into the face of the person waiting behind you.

9. Empty the remnants of your sports drink into the fountain, especially if it’s red (tends to streak like the blood from snot or spit; see 8-7). Come to think of it, I don’t want to see pools of orange or green either.

8. Spit in the fountain.

7. Blow your nose in the fountain.

6. Bathe in the water fountain. This means no coming out of the spinning room and rinsing your whole face in the fountain stream.

5. Hog the water fountain. If you need to fill up your water bottle, be considerate of the people waiting for a quick sip behind you.

4. Hold a conversation right in front of the water fountain.

3. Never, ever change the stupid newspaper article hung directly behind the water fountain.

2. Rinse out your Tupperware, yogurt container or any other item holding food residue in the fountain.

1. Fail to report/fix water as hot as piss coming out of the fountain.

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5 Responses to Top 10 Things Not To Do At A Gym Water Fountain

  1. Donnie says:

    My favorite is when two friends decide to catch up with each other right at the fountains. And when you say “excuse me” they look at you like you just slapped their elderly mother.

  2. Elana says:

    This is wonderful. I was kept awake giggling about #10 last night.

  3. […] Much Information A couple readers have suggested an 11th thing not to do at a gym water fountain: put your mouth over the entire spout like you’re trying to suck the water straight out of the […]

  4. The sound of water has the power to heal what is hurting in our souls.

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