If you’re horny you’re healthy

In Venezuela, the food at the beach is as much a part of the culture as the sand and the waves. During my recent vacation to Margarita Island, I learned that it is in fact the beach street vendors and dive bars that offer the healthiest — and therefore sexiest — food on earth.

Some dishes are known by their aphrodisiac nicknames. For example, one plate I tried is called “rompe colchón” (mattress breaker). 

The three main delicacies are:

–Ostras (oysters). Fishermen stroll the beach gripping full buckets of fresh oysters waiting for tourists to whistle them over. He then kneels down and uses his special tool to break open the oysters at machine speed, passing them to you as fast as your group can eat them. The blur of the fisherman’s hands and shells means you quickly lose track of how many oysters you’re buying, but it’s also quite a show to watch this master of his craft.

–Siete potencia (seven powers). This plate has several names, including “vuelve a la vida” (return to life), and the mattress breaker. It is a mix of fresh-caught seafood served in vinegar and other spices, and is recommended for relieving hangovers as well as boosting your sex drive. I told my mother-in-law I so enjoyed my first plate at a beach’s pop-up kitchen that I ordered a second one. She was alarmed for my wife.

-Fosforera soup. This water-based soup becomes so thick with a mix of shellfish, bivalves, and who-knows-what-else, that it sits on your spoon with the consistency of yogurt. It is also known as “levanta hasta un muerto” (raise a dead man). When you eat like this, you can throw your supplements away — magnesium, zinc, copper, selenium, B vitamins.

To be fair, the food may have nothing to do with this Latin libido lift. Rather, it’s the beach experience itself. You have tropical sun that drives nitric oxide production and increases blood flow. You get grounding by having your feet in contact with sand all day. You absorb trace minerals when you go splashing around in the ocean.

Note also what’s not here: sugar, seed oils, grains, stuffy indoor air, florescent light bulbs. It all adds up to something we know intuitively without a doctor’s physical: If you’re horny, you’re healthy.