Did the lunatics succeed at blocking out the sun?

I’m old enough to remember when the sun used to shine in South Florida. It was way back in November 2023, before thick clouds settled over my home state for good. The weather leads the local news now — reporters interview northerners who had big plans for winter break, only to have their vacations blown away by gusty winds.

For years, conspiracy theorists have argued that the chemtrails you see crisscrossing the sky are actually part of a government plot to control the weather. I’m not sold on that one. Still, just six months ago the White House said it was interested in plans to block out the sun to address global warming. All I know is that the skin on my face and arms is turning the same color as the skin on my ass.

Whether or not the current weather is a natural phenomenon, you have to marvel at the way nature prepped humans for the seasons. Our ancestors would accumulate body fat and vitamin D under the summer sun while food was plentiful; then, melting flab in the lean winter months would release vitamin D into the blood along with the other fat-soluble vitamins. This cycle is the opposite of the way most people manage their body composition now. People drop weight to look good in their swimsuits; then, they bulk up in cold weather — with traditionally inaccessible carbohydrates — and continue to hoard vitamin D in their fatty tissue.  

If I were looking to advance an anti-human agenda, blocking out the sun would be a good place to start. We have known for years that consistent, prudent sun exposure reduces the risk of all kinds of cancer (as compared to sporadic, burning exposure which is bad). Partaking in bright sunny days also minimizes the metabolic disruption caused by artificial light at night.

One caveat about bright days is that they only work if you leave your sunglasses in their case. In fact, wearing sunglasses increases your chance of sunburn. When you reduce the amount of light entering the eyes with sunglasses, you also stifle the release of melanocyte-stimulating hormone (MSH) — the signaling molecule involved in the production of protective melanin.  

As I wrote about prioritizing the building blocks of health, only sleep is more important than sun — and sleep and sun are yin-yang concepts. Bright days and dark nights outrank even diet and exercise for achieving metabolic health.

I just hope that bright days are still a thing.