What’s Old is New

For all our modern sophistication, real scientists and armchair sociologists are discovering the benefits of co-opting the lifestyles of our distant ancestors.

For example, proponents of the Paleo Diet believe we should consume only the foods available to original humans; we were genetically adapted to diets high in protein, with abundant fruits and vegetables, that contained no grains or dairy.

When it comes to theories of physical attraction, a well-trained Pick Up Artist will play paleo-mind games with women, striving to create the impression that he is the leader of a tribe.

And some pundits have begun to note how the cubicle farms of the modern workplace create an unnatural environment for human hunter-gatherers. One writer laments the obligatory assertions of mail-room cheer – “Hangin’ in there!” – that run counter to male programming.

But for all the challenges of civilization, we still rely on the gym to serve its paleo-purpose, right? We can safely go through the motions of hunting woolly mammoths and fleeing from saber tooth tigers – all in a climate controlled environment.

Well, maybe not. Here’s a sample of gym conversations I’ve overheard this week:

Guy 1: “Hey man, you’re looking fit today.”
Guy 2: “Thanks bud, but at least you have some sweat on your body!”

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Dude 1: “Hey pal, are you working hard or hardly working?!”
Dude 2: Practically falls over with laughter.

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Fellow 1: “How’s your training going?”
Fellow 2: “Well, I used to bulk up this time of year. But as I’ve gotten older, I focus just on maintenance.”

Fellow 2 looked to be about 28.