Good Looking

In an attempt to make amends for last week’s goof-off of a post, I’ve done some actual thinking about what motivates people to come into the gym.

For sure, there’s a certain subset that buys the membership or hires the trainer simply for the status. Beyond the poseurs, however, there are three kinds of people who in fact show up routinely: The Purist, who has a genuine desire to improve his health; The Egomaniac, motivated by his desire to be buff, generally in the hope of gaining access to female reproductive services; and The Addict, who uses his workout to convert emotional pain into more manageable physical pain.

The Egomaniac is the most amusing, of course. He got in his car and drove to the gym in order to improve his physical appearance. Yet, I see this kind of guy all the time just leaning against the equipment and staring at women as the women lift actual weights.

First of all, this kind of behavior is an egregious violation of the three second rule: When you identify a woman of interest, you must approach her within three seconds. Otherwise, you’ll not only lose your nerve, you’ll also creep her out. More importantly, I’ve always thought these guys would have a much better shot in the long run if they worked out themselves – you know, bulking up in reality.