But Seriously

It’s mailbag time!

Actually, I haven’t received any fan mail yet. But if I had, at least one would probably read like this:

Dear Muscleman,

This is a really terrific blog! You tell riveting tales with your spectacular writing and rapier wit. I look forward to each daybreak so I can bound out of bed and read your latest post.

I do have one comment that I hope you’ll consider. Yes, people generally approach their workouts with all the preparation and intelligence you’d expect from a small child. But people’s carelessness in the gym can also cause grievous harm to themselves or others. This is no laughing matter.

Anyway, thanks again for your enlightening and enjoyable blog.

Sincerely,

Serious in Seattle

Serious, thanks for your note! I’m always delighted to hear from my readers, irrespective of the question, comment, complaint, issue, protest or objection. You raise an excellent point which I’ll briefly address. First, you’ll notice that I sprinkle training tips throughout my posts. In fact, this entire blog is about exactly what not to do. Second, I am acutely aware that gym mishaps can lead to horrific injuries. It’s a miracle this kind of thing doesn’t happen more frequently.

In any event, since this post is all about sheathing the sarcasm for a day, I’d like to share my top 5 most outstanding things I’ve ever seen at the gym:

5) The guys who showed me how to use lifting straps properly. With the first loop, the strap goes under the bar, not your palm. Otherwise, the barbell will just slip out of your hands.

4) The guy who at about 5’9’’, 170 lbs, performed 7 clean, strong reps of bench presses with 115 lb dumbbells. Oh wait, that was me.

3) Saturday aerobics class, third row, purple crop top.

2) Most creative abdominal move ever: guy straps belt to waist, hooks belt into low cable pulley. He puts Frisbee-like plates under each foot, assumes a pull-up position, and brings knees to chest. Looks hard.

1) Basketball great Patrick Ewing walking on a treadmill. He’s taller than the machine is long.