Halloween In January

You can tell a lot about a person’s commitment to fitness by how he or she dresses in the gym. In this case, more really is less. The more colorful, stylish and expensive the getup, the less likely you will see that person at the gym next month, or even next week.

But what to make of the guy who comes to workout dressed like he’s teeing off at Augusta National? I’m talking about the collared shirt, leather belt, slacks and shoes that sparkle under the gym lighting. This is not the fellow dressed in his business casual because he forgot to pack his gym clothes. I’m referring to the guy who looks into his closet on a Sunday morning and thinks that workout gear ought to be dry cleaned.

On the female side, I’m both appreciative of and confounded by the attire that looks like it was lifted from a Picasso painting. These one piece outfits stretch over the whole body, with geometric chunks missing from the back, stomach and side of the leg. What really perplexes me, however, are the women (often the same) who come to the gym in full prom makeup.

Because my understanding of the female psyche could fit inside a thimble, I decided to consult an expert.

Muscleman: Honey, what is the deal with the women wearing a ton of makeup at the gym? (Again, I’m referring to a Sunday morning, not coming from work.)

Musclewoman: Yeah, I know what you mean.

MM: But wouldn’t all the makeup run down your face once you start sweating?

MW: What makes you think they break a sweat?

Right. Now I get it.

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7 Responses to Halloween In January

  1. Josh says:

    There’s definitely more of these clowns in January. I religiously attend a weekly spin class at New York Sports Club. I normally step in a couple minutes beforehand and have my pick of any bike. Come the first week of January (and resolution time), I have to arrive 30 mins early and then can only reserve the rusty & broken bike in the corner. Around the 15th of January, it’s back to my semi-private spin class. My remaining class-mates don’t wear make-up.

  2. Josh says:

    By the way, same thing applies for the salad lines at lunch. The first week of the year the lines for salads all over NYC were 10 people deep while the sandwich line had only 2-3 large patrons ordering the usual. I asked the deli owner how long the NY resolution thing would last and his response was “this is a 2 week thing every year”.

  3. Lisa says:

    I call them new year’s re-illusionists.

  4. Miche says:

    Perfect gym attire: pants, sports bra with wife beater cover, sneakers, ponytail and a clean face.

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