March 5, 2007
There are a few really astounding gym incidents that I’ve been able only to hear about, rather than witness firsthand. For example, there are variations on the collarless barbell: A guy doing bench presses with three plates on each side pushes up unevenly; the bar tips to one side, all three plates spill off the barbell, the bar seesaws wildly through the air, and the three plates on the other side go crashing to the ground. You’ll also come across the barbell catapult when someone unloads a barbell by first stripping all the plates from just one side.
(The most exciting thing to happen between me and a barbell occurred during a set of upright rows. A woman, distracted by a conversation with her boyfriend, speared herself by walking into the end of my barbell.)
I read somewhere that the reason truth is even stranger than fiction is because fiction is governed by probabilities. Now here’s an incident that I couldn’t have even imagined:
There was this other guy who was benching about 200 pounds. The benches were arranged along a big window that leads out to the carpark … When you lay down, the window is behind your head. So, the guy finishes his final rep, but misses the “hooks” or whatever you call them on his bench. The bar flew crashing through the window and rolled down the carpark.
I believe it was Albert Einstein who said that the difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
4 Comments | 
All Time Nuttiest, Chest, Shoulders | 
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Posted by Muscleman
February 27, 2007
I’ve been waiting patiently for gym members to provide me with the inspiration for a post on stretching and flexibility. I’ve been on the lookout for things like:
- Ballistic stretching (bouncing)
- Painful stretching
- Over stretching (taking muscles and joints well past natural limits)
However, I found something even more alarming when it comes to members’ regular stretching … absolutely nothing.
I grew up during the golden age of fitness, when people like Joe Weider championed the idea of a “fitness tripod” - a sturdy foundation of physical wellbeing consisting of muscle strength, cardiovascular fitness and improved flexibility. Nowadays, people obsess over weight loss, fad diets and supplementation, discarding the fundamentals of total body health.
At a minimum, thorough stretching prior to working out reduces the risk of injury. On my heavy leg days, I get added confidence from a good stretch of my quads and low back. On chest day, some form of a doorway stretch always feels great and helps defend against a rip in the pectorals. I also began regular shoulder stretching years ago after a rotator cuff tear, speeding my recovery and minimizing the risk of future problems.
Furthermore, there is a synergy between muscle tone and flexibility. Contrary to the myth of the musclebound athlete, bodybuilders who work their muscles through a full range of motion enhance their flexibility in areas such as legs and low back; just think about the repeated stretching required by a set of deep squats or hyper extensions. On the flip side, even professional bodybuilders have claimed success lengthening and firming calves and lats through a serious stretching routine.
Just remember: aggressive, reckless stretching is as dangerous as combining heavy weights with sloppy form. Always warm up a cold muscle first with light cardio. And never try to imitate something you’ve seen from an Olympic gymnast … but I guess that’s a story for another post.
3 Comments | Back, Chest, Legs, Shoulders | Permalink
Posted by Muscleman
February 16, 2007
One of the most underrated – underhyped – benefits of weight training is the 24/7 calorie furnace created by slabs of lean muscle. Much like the basketball player who’s still 6’10” even when he’s tired, your toned physique is burning fuel when you’re on the couch watching TV, or even asleep.
Meaningful lean mass is achieved by developing the body’s largest muscles (legs, back and chest) through exercises that, naturally, hurt the most. I’m referring to the moves that make a difference: squats, deadlifts, rowing movements, various kinds of presses.
Unfortunately, folks at the gym throw away daily this round-the-clock fitness opportunity. And of course, the worst offenders are usually the people who need it most. I see flabby middle-aged women wasting their time with moves like one-arm tricep pulldowns or concentration curls. I shake my head watching paunchy guys perform isolation exercises like pec-deck flys or leg extensions. All these movements should belong exclusively to serious bodybuilders, who are looking to bring out the striations in their already-meaty legs, pecs and arms.
The most depressing part is that these folks are often exercising under the close watch of personal trainers. People with limited time and limited goals should especially be directed toward major compound movements; key exercises like rows and presses work smaller muscle groups – shoulders, arms – at the same time.
One of these days I’m going to have to step in and give a free lesson myself.
3 Comments | Arms, Back, Chest, Legs, Shoulders | Permalink
Posted by Muscleman
February 5, 2007
An actual reader directed me to a thread at Men’s Health’s U.K. discussion board about ridiculous behavior at the gym. Sounds like stupidity at the club is something of a global epidemic. A few highlights.
Cell phone abuse:
Right fellas, I’ve been working out for 4/5 years now and I have seen a lot of funny/stupid stuff in the gym, but today’s incident takes the biscuit. I was coming out of the changing rooms and I saw a guy on his mobile phone … normal enough so far you might say. Well how about the fact that he was also on a rowing machine and rowing one handed???
… One day when one of these idiots was on the running machine and as usual on his mobile phone, he was getting rather animated and dropped his phone. Human instinct being what it is he quickly reached down to try and catch it as he did he forgot to keep moving his legs, anyway there is one almighty crash as his face hits the treadmill and he gets flung off the back and is laying in a heap at the end … bloodied nose and serious bruised ego, but he only tried to style it out, went back on the runner for about 30 sec’s, hobbling, then gave up, I laughed so hard I nearly pissed myself.
Treadmill issues:
I was on a treadmill once and the guy next to me thought he’d jam his speed up to the max … next thing I know he’s making some god almighty noises and trying desperately to stab at the controls while continuing to run. Several seconds later just when I thought this guy’s head was gonna blow off he managed to slam his hand down on the emergency stop and the sudden deceleration launched him into the mirror in front of the machine … don’t you just hate trying to cover up a major attack of hysterics?!?!
On bad form:
This one male was doing dumbell lateral raises (shoulders) with weights far too heavy. In order to raise the left one he leant to the right then, breathed in, took two massive steps left, screamed, swung them above his head, and brought them down in front of him, in an almost windmill action … my god.
General absurdity:
Oh, and there was this severely ugly guy who weighed about 120 lbs who used to go up to the mirror and lift his shirt up after every set. Who knows what he was expecting to see, huge pectoral development in the space of 3 minutes? Unlikely.
My old gym had not long opened when I joined and they insist on showing people around. There was a salesman who wanted to show off the swimming pool which you had to access through the changing room. While he was showing a group of attractive young women around he made the mistake of not telling them he would meet them around the other side of the changing rooms. So 6 teenage students followed, walking boldly through the men’s changing room while around 20 of us had just finished a circuit training session.
You gotta love the Brits – both their speaking and writing. It’s their language after all.
1 Comment | All Time Nuttiest, Cardio, Shoulders | Permalink
Posted by Muscleman
