March 31, 2007
I always get a kick out of watching big burly guys use the seated leg curl. Few people realize this machine was designed specifically for pregnant women (who can’t lie on their stomach to perform a traditional hamstring curl). Still, the machine does a good job of targeting the hamstrings; it’s a respectable alternative to the horizontal version.
I’m not nearly as positive about the stationary hand cycle. The hand cycle provides a cardiovascular option for wheelchair-bound athletes. The able-bodied person using the hand cycle has skipped the treadmill, the StairMaster, the elliptical machine, and of course, the stationary bike, in order to experience a workout that is literally handicapped.
I notice two kinds of laziness at the gym. There’s typical sloth, and then there’s why bother to show up at all. The woman sitting in the hand cycle today most definitely burned the bulk of her calories walking from the parking lot to the gym. It’s one thing to choose a machine that uses only the body’s smaller muscle groups when your focus ought to be maximizing calorie burn. It’s quite another to rotate the crank so slowly that the fat hanging from your upper arms doesn’t even jiggle.
No matter. I think it was excellent training for repeated lifting of her TV’s remote control.
1 Comment | 
All Time Nuttiest, Cardio, Legs | 
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Posted by Muscleman
March 22, 2007
I’ve been travelling for business this week, and had to do some soul searching regarding one of life’s fundamental questions: How much should I pay for a workout?
At home, my gym membership costs about $40 per month. If I go two of every three days, I’m paying an actual $2 per workout. Not bad.
Some of the more expensive gyms in my area cost up to $800 a year. Throw in an initiation fee, and with a 66 percent attendance rate, you’re looking at close to $5 a workout. Kind of bad.
To me, $5 is dangerously close to real money. For five bucks, you can swill a grande latte, view a matinee, or pay for a couple gallons of gas. The discouraging part about gyms in this price range is that you’re probably funding a bunch of things you never even use, like swimming pools and squash courts. You’d be much better served if the gym simply added a donkey calf raise machine to the main floor.
The maximum one-time guest fee for gyms used to hover around $10. In my heart, I figured I would pay $10 for the perfect workout: an empty gym with the latest equipment, a mix of my favorite songs playing over the speakers. Lately, however, I’ve seen guest fees of $15, and today, I found a gym that charged $20.
If I had to pay $20 per workout at my home gym, I’d be paying $400 per month, or almost $5,000 per year. No wonder $20 feels ridiculous.
Nevertheless, people do pay four- or even five-figures for their gym memberships. Some of these clubs are built for celebrities and don’t really apply. But what about the super high end place that offers cutting edge equipment, caps its membership (or number of people allowed on the floor at one time), and lets you grunt away in a spa-like environment? I have to believe that working out in a veritable penthouse would boost my motivation and reduce the agony.
Well, maybe.
6 Comments | Gyms | Permalink
Posted by Muscleman
March 18, 2007
Judging from comments on the web, unsolicited exercise advice is a chronic problem at the gym.
To be fair, I’ve often had the urge to run up to people and ask what in the world they are thinking. However, I respect people’s space. I’m open to at least the possibility that a person is working around an injury, intentionally using partial reps, or trying something new. In any event, it’s not my problem and none of my business. I’m just there to train myself (and I can make fun of them later in this blog).
But how are you supposed to react when your classic gym busybody isn’t offering fitness advice, but stock tips? I never figured that one of the challenges of working out early in the morning is that you’re also training before the market opens. Added to the list of most obnoxious distractions: Guy rambling on about his big trading plans for the day.
Well, buddy, I’ve got a tip for you too: Just shut up.
3 Comments | Etiquette | Permalink
Posted by Muscleman
March 14, 2007
My nightmare featuring crazed gym ball users keeps getting worse. Remember the guy standing on the exercise ball with his dumbbells? I guess balance really is an issue:
So I saw the guy on the swiss ball again today doing bicep curls, but this time he fell off, twice … The first time, I heard a loud clang as the guy managed to catch himself before falling right onto me by grabbing the top of the rack. The second time thankfully no one was near him as he had to actually jump off the ball and land awkwardly to the side of the ball. Scary stuff!
When this guy ends up seriously hurting himself, the key question becomes: Will he sue the swiss ball manufacturer because of the product’s round, unstable shape?
4 Comments | All Time Nuttiest | Permalink
Posted by Muscleman
March 12, 2007
Today at the gym I watched a personal trainer and his beginner client spend a good 10 minutes exploring the all-important torso twist machine. Don’t get me wrong - I’m all for a well-defined set of internal obliques. But I have to believe there are better places in the gym for this novice to spend his time, and money.
Personal trainers are expensive. Just one session can cost double or triple the price of an entire month’s gym membership. Are people getting their money’s worth? Not according to this serious lifter:
Some of the training stuff that goes on at my gym these days drives me nuts. It seems like every trainer is trying to see how much “functional/balancing” crap they can use on new trainees … They jump up and down on benches, use a medicine ball and other toys. If you are a seasoned and/or experienced athlete and want to do wall squats with a swiss ball, or incorporate the new koosh ball feet thingies into your workout … no problem. But shouldn’t someone that looks like they need a major overhaul start with real weight training and some real cardio?
The dubious certification process for personal trainers accounts for some of these misplaced priorities. I did a little research and found that over 300 different certifications exist, with many - perhaps most - earned simply by mailing in a check.
Still, I’m beginning to think that clients are in fact quite happy to pay for the illusion of fitness. I’m reminded of the very average couple down the street that likes to brag about their retention of a financial planner. Perhaps the value for gym members comes not from actual physical improvement, but from the opportunity to start sentences with the words “my trainer.”
For sure, it’s the exceptional client that looks forward to a challenging workout. True story: On my last day as a personal trainer, a client who had been making steady gains told me he wanted my replacement to be “less of a drill sergeant.” I’ve also noticed that some of the loudest, most animated conversations at my gym take place between trainer and client. Furthermore, why does every client seem to progress through her workout with a giant grin on her face?
I’ve reached the conclusion that the sorry state of personal training actually reflects a high level of customer service. They’re just giving the customer what she wants.
3 Comments | Motivation | Permalink
Posted by Muscleman
