The Lost Art Of Stretching

February 27, 2007

I’ve been waiting patiently for gym members to provide me with the inspiration for a post on stretching and flexibility. I’ve been on the lookout for things like:

  • Ballistic stretching (bouncing)
  • Painful stretching
  • Over stretching (taking muscles and joints well past natural limits)

However, I found something even more alarming when it comes to members’ regular stretching … absolutely nothing.

I grew up during the golden age of fitness, when people like Joe Weider championed the idea of a “fitness tripod” - a sturdy foundation of physical wellbeing consisting of muscle strength, cardiovascular fitness and improved flexibility. Nowadays, people obsess over weight loss, fad diets and supplementation, discarding the fundamentals of total body health.

At a minimum, thorough stretching prior to working out reduces the risk of injury. On my heavy leg days, I get added confidence from a good stretch of my quads and low back. On chest day, some form of a doorway stretch always feels great and helps defend against a rip in the pectorals. I also began regular shoulder stretching years ago after a rotator cuff tear, speeding my recovery and minimizing the risk of future problems.

Furthermore, there is a synergy between muscle tone and flexibility. Contrary to the myth of the musclebound athlete, bodybuilders who work their muscles through a full range of motion enhance their flexibility in areas such as legs and low back; just think about the repeated stretching required by a set of deep squats or hyper extensions. On the flip side, even professional bodybuilders have claimed success lengthening and firming calves and lats through a serious stretching routine.

Just remember: aggressive, reckless stretching is as dangerous as combining heavy weights with sloppy form. Always warm up a cold muscle first with light cardio. And never try to imitate something you’ve seen from an Olympic gymnast … but I guess that’s a story for another post.

3 Comments | Back, Chest, Legs, Shoulders | Permalink
Posted by Muscleman

Circular Logic

February 25, 2007

I don’t know if the traditional round shape of barbell weight plates and their dumbbell cousins is intentional or a historical accident. What I do know is that the introduction of hexagon-shaped dumbbells and 12-sided weight plates has been an absolute fiasco. (If you haven’t come across such equipment in your gym, consider this post a cautionary tale.)

When equipment manufacturers began selling polygonal weight plates about a decade ago, fitness magazines hailed their arrival as the greatest invention since, well, the wheel. These newfangled plates also included handles cut directly into the metal, an actual improvement over the standard ponderous plate.

Nevertheless, the problem caused by a weight plate with corners becomes immediately obvious to anyone performing deadlifts. When the plate hits the floor at a pointed edge, gravity rocks the barbell (and everything attached to it) forward until the plate comes to rest on the next flat side. Literally stumbling through a set of deadlifts is, let’s say, suboptimal.

Some dumbbell manufacturers have also eschewed the circle, again with disastrous results. First, the lifter needing to transport heavy dumbbells from the rack to the open bench 20 ft. away would much rather roll the weights there than train for the Carry & Drag. Second, I find that the edges of hexagonal dumbbells cut into the shoulder during all kinds of presses. Finally, geometric shapes just don’t slide cleanly into the dumbbell rack next to one another.

So I’ll ask again: Does anyone designing equipment for the gym have any actual experience in the gym?

1 Comment | Gyms | Permalink
Posted by Muscleman

Sound effects (con’t)

February 23, 2007

I regret to report that I have discovered a new low in gym music. Something more annoying than regicide rock and more debilitating than Barry Manilow: Nonstop talk from a group of giddy DJs. And when I say nonstop, I mean no music at all. An Oscar night review. A recap of yesterday’s The View. An interview with a local mixed drink specialist.

I couldn’t wait for the commercials.

4 Comments | Gyms | Permalink
Posted by Muscleman

Seductively Simple

February 22, 2007

I’m not kidding when I say that folks struggling with good form should focus first on doing just one clean, quality rep. I can think of a number of bodyweight exercises where this rule applies: crunches, dips and certainly unassisted pull-ups.

Today at the gym, however, I saw another kind of one rep exercise that is most definitely not what I have in mind. It’s the all too familiar group of guys who prepare for bench presses by loading a minivan onto each side of the barbell.

The terrible form, sure to follow, doesn’t defeat just the philosophical purpose of my “one rep” rule. On a physiological level, the only possible benefit derived from singles is the strengthening of ligaments - an advantage clearly outweighed by the increased risk of injury. One rep max lifts grow very little muscle, contrary to the hopes of high school football players and frat boys. Just compare the muscularity between Olympic weightlifters and serious amateur bodybuilders.

Nevertheless, a discussion of muscle biology misses a far more interesting sociological point. These guys load up a bunch of weight so they can lean conspicuously against their barbell and grin idiotically when attractive women pass by.

In fact, I think there is an opportunity here to launch the next innovation in seduction techniques. Go ahead and load up your barbell - stand around - but don’t actually lift at all. The most productive part of the max workout comes from the effort loading and unloading several 45 lb plates anyway. Why find yourself lying on the bench, wasting a few precious seconds, when the next HB 10 walks by? Most importantly, why risk breaking a sweat?

There can be too much of a good thing, however. Just because one rep is too few doesn’t mean that peak muscularity comes from doing 50. The muscle building sweet spot is somewhere between six and eight reps per set (for women, I’ll call it the muscle toning sweet spot). Scientific studies also encourage a little variety in your workout: 6-8 reps to work the explosive “fast-twitch” muscle fibers, 10-12 reps to stimulate the endurance “slow-twitch” fibers.

Either way, you should be using a weight heavy enough that you experience muscle failure by the tenth, maybe twelfth rep. You’re just cheating yourself on multiple levels if you pick a weight with which you can do 30, but simply stop at 10. Regardless, once you enter the 12-15 rep range and beyond, your workout becomes a form of endurance training, not muscle building.

Besides, if you can really do dozens of reps - particularly when it comes to abs – you’re probably not doing the movement right at all.

2 Comments | Abs, Back, Chest | Permalink
Posted by Muscleman

Top 10 Things Not To Do At A Gym Water Fountain

February 21, 2007

My sister thinks that the commotion surrounding a gym water fountain is just knee-slapping hilarious, and that this blog would be incomplete without a more thorough analysis. Ok, Elana, here you go:

Top 10 Things Not To Do At A Gym Water Fountain

10. Take a big gulp of water, turn around, and cough into the face of the person waiting behind you.

9. Empty the remnants of your sports drink into the fountain, especially if it’s red (tends to streak like the blood from snot or spit; see 8-7). Come to think of it, I don’t want to see pools of orange or green either.

8. Spit in the fountain.

7. Blow your nose in the fountain.

6. Bathe in the water fountain. This means no coming out of the spinning room and rinsing your whole face in the fountain stream.

5. Hog the water fountain. If you need to fill up your water bottle, be considerate of the people waiting for a quick sip behind you.

4. Hold a conversation right in front of the water fountain.

3. Never, ever change the stupid newspaper article hung directly behind the water fountain.

2. Rinse out your Tupperware, yogurt container or any other item holding food residue in the fountain.

1. Fail to report/fix water as hot as piss coming out of the fountain.

3 Comments | Etiquette, Gyms | Permalink
Posted by Muscleman

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